So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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