Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
