If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize