either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
