i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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