well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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