Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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