I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
well you can't waste a boner
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
