Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
