i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
