Nicole vs. Life
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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