So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
