Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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