I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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