he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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