Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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