Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize