Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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