You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
