Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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