guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
