Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
