At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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