I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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