If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize