I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
