The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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