the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
