it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
