I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How many fucks given?
0.12846
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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