I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
