he wants to bone in the snuggie
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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