It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
