Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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