Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
