Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
