Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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