My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sext me about skeletons
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize