I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
