He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just invented taco cereal.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
