At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
