you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
