I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
