i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
