I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize