I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
