so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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