I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
