OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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