I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
