just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
