I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
