:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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