I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
