he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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