Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
