I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize