Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize