i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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