when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
