you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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