i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize