it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
