i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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