My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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