I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
